After all these years of being in this business I still get nervous before entering the stage. It´s a good thing, it means that I don´t take for granted that things will go smoothly. It means that I know how it feels when things go wrong. Like in february 2010, yes it´s over a year ago and I should get over it already, but it still hunts me.
We were performing Pink Noise at Svenska teatern in Helsinki, sold out performance, happy people everywhere, things looked really great. Then we come to the song Kiss from a rose. A very sensitive song with no extra technic, only four voices and a microphone. We have shared the lyrics in the song, each of us has certain lines that we are responsible for while the rest of the group goes ooo or aaa. We come to my line, which I repeat four times in the song, and I am having a total black out. Nothing there, not a single word. Emptiness. I try to make up some words but it sounds more like I am choking. We make it through the first verse, my colleagues are trying not to burst out in total laughter while I, in great panic, am realizing that soon I have to do the line again so I better start remembering it. Like right now. But no. It never came to me. The second time I was still trying, the third time I sang ooo and the fourth time I just gave up and kept quiet. At this point my fellow singers had left me far behind and was desperately trying to save their own skin. We came to the end of the song, took the applauses and continued with the next, the rest of the group wiping away their tears of laughter and me in pure horror. I had just experienced unintentional total nakedness in front of a large group of people.
I survived, of course. But still, when we sing Kiss from a rose, I can recall that feeling. Today I have a couple of different mnemonic rules on how to get the words right. Just in case... And I did learn something. Don´t get too comfortable!
